i stood here three months ago a changed heart. same body, different soul. a much weaker soul that held faith in things that weren’t worth the hurt or the pain. i remember the bus driver was frustrated due to a mix up with the ticketing machine, and i cried the way home. i cried when i walked through my front door to see a happy tail wagging back and forth and i cried trying to keep the hurt from him. i called a friend and cried on the phone and cried again when i met her up. i even cried myself to sleep and found myself waking up crying. i was unguarded and put faith in the wrong places, trusted the wrong people, and my heart, like everything else, was a mess strewn across the floor. however, i am not who i was that day. we are not who we were and we are not who we are going to be. today i keep my heart on my sleeve and stand much taller and wiser and remember the pain as a lesson how only the strongest survive and you must stand taller than the ones who hurt you because in life, you must be selfish for you can’t give out everything you have because in the end you are left with nothing. this drama and these rumors; it’s not a game or a search for attention. it’s my life. you can only build yourself to understand another when you have come to understand yourself.